Kim and Kris' wedding reported by Zaheera Ismail

My sister likes to send me retarded bbms while I'm at work for what reason, I don't know.

Zaheera: I watched kim n kris humphries sham wedding
Zaheera: Was so emotional
Kareema: Shame. Did you cry and say they grow up fast
Zaheera: Mummy was crying
Zaheera: When the pressure got to kim after she was looking thru her dead fathers shirts
Zaheera: N then the kamera went in after
Zaheera: N she went into the bathroom to b private
Zaheera: U cud see at first it was hesitant to go in
Kareema: Kardashian spotted 7km from nebwala gate
Zaheera: XD
Zaheera: LOLL
Zaheera: Kardashian spotted 7km from nebwala gate
Zaheera: Kardashian spotted 7km from nebwala gate
Zaheera: Mumy was tearing up
Zaheera: Sniff!
Zaheera: "An nogal real tears!"
Zaheera: They hated each other cos kim wanted the perfect wedding but kris wanted to b in the loop cos he didn't want a marriage where he was in "the passengers seat"
Zaheera: But when they asked him what he wanted he said stuf like
Zaheera: "Burgers on the menu like at the carnival"
Zaheera: And they were all like :&
Zaheera: And then >:/
Zaheera: And he wanted his DOGS to sleep in their BED and Kim was like >:O >:O >:O
Zaheera: And he wanted her to be kim HUMPhries
Zaheera: And she wanted kardashian for business decision and he was like >:O >:O >:O
Zaheera: And he was like KIM WHY U LET PAPARAZZI FOLLOW US
Kareema: Please stop messagin me about Kardashians
Zaheera: And she was like I thought u cud put up with my 'business' n its jus gona get worse
Zaheera: XD
Kareema: Zaheera I can't I cant
Kareema: Putting my phone away
Zaheera: N he was like KIM Y U NO PUMP BABIES WITH ME IN MINNESOTA
Zaheera: N she was like NO HUH UH >:O >:O >:O
Zaheera: Hey don't put ur fone!
Zaheera: Y U NO READ MY MSGS
Zaheera: D:
Kareema: Kim
Zaheera: N at one point that fat one said "I know I'm known as the fat chubby one in this fam"
Zaheera: She was like OMG MINESOTA WTF
Zaheera: He was like KIM Y U NO HUMBLE WHEN U GET SO FAANCY
Zaheera: She was like cos ur house look like a college dorm
Zaheera: He was like KIM U HAD A SHOP THE OTHER DAY Y U WANA BE PRINCESS NOW
Zaheera: N she was like oh no he didn't!
Zaheera: KIM Y U PUT ME PASSENGER SEAT, cos dis every girls drrream.
Zaheera: Before she decided to change her name to HUMPhries her mother thought up sum business ideas for the name instead of kardashian
Zaheera: HUMP perfume
Zaheera: So she came up with HUMP. And kim was like omg wtF :&
Zaheera: The HUMP rope instead of jump
Zaheera: So she's makin fun with those sisters
Zaheera: One says. HUMP perfume. So u kan smel like a NAICE piece o ASSS.
Kareema: Are you done
Zaheera: Kim was like gimme a HUMP rope to HANG myself
Zaheera: Huh uh!
Kareema: Carry on zaheera. See what happens
Zaheera: U get fired.
Kareema: Fine.

15 Movie Questions list

My first meme. Taken from Waseem

1. Movie you love with a passion.
Elizabethtown but flirting incessantly with Marie Antoinette; both of them for their stunning soundtracks.

2. Movie you vow to never watch.
I haven't done this yet, I'm up for most things.

3. Movie that literally left you speechless.
The 11th Hour

4. Movie you always recommend.
The 11th Hour because it left me speechless

5. Actor/actress you always watch, no matter how crappy the movie.
Kirsten Dunst. Even Drop Dead Gorgeous was enjoyable to me.

6. Actor/actress you don’t get the appeal for.
Mathew McConaughey. He's unattractive with a stupid name.

7. Actor/actress, living or dead, you’d love to meet.
David Boreanaz but from 1998, Buffy's Season 2. Not everyone is treated as well as Paul Rudd is by the years.

8. Sexiest actor/actress you’ve seen.
David Boreanaz (Again, 1998 only)

9. Dream cast.
Kirsten Dunst; she doesn't need co-actors.

10. Favorite actor pairing.
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore were quite cute, Jonah Hill and Michael Cera are close to my heart, but Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz take it home.

11. Favorite movie setting.
Château de Versailles in Marie Antoinette

12. Favorite decade for movies.
90's.

13. Chick flick or action movie?
Chick Flick unless you can show me an action movie with Kirsten Dunst in it.

14. Hero, villain or anti-hero?
Anti-hero

Red Dead Redemption

...pushes past Oblivion on my top 10 games of all time across all platforms. (It's the only one on this list that I didn't play on PC) As it stands:

1. GTA Vice City
2. Gothic 2
3. GTA San Andreas
4. Red Dead Redemption
   
5. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
6. GTA 3
7. GTA IV
8. The Sims 2
9. Quake III Area
10. Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines
11. Age of Empires II: Age of Kings (you got ousted sucker.)
    

Is there life after Red Dead? Maybe I'll aim for 100% completion. I've never actually done that.

Thohira and Muhammad

Two of my best friends got married this weekend… to each other. I bet you can’t say that. It’s a wonderful thing watching two people you’ve known for so long experience something that you never, ever want to experience again. This, for 2 reasons:

• I don’t intend of having a second wedding unless you count me deciding to live vicariously through my hypothetical daughter’s life and wreck her wedding day dreams to spite her.

• It’s wonderful because you can sit back, relax and enjoy the fact that it isn’t happening to you this time. I doubt that a wedding is something often described as a horrific folktale that is told to make you feel better about whatever horrible thing is happening in your life. It’s just that I’m not very fond of being the center of attention. I’ve been saying that getting married is horrible compared to being married. Being married is awesome. Getting married requires the wedding and that’s what’s just not really fun to me.

The problem with the way I’m telling Thohira and Muhammad’s story is that they didn’t feel the way I did at all. Waseem described this photo, if you can see it, best when he said to me she looks like the happiest person in the world and if you were there to see them you would agree. I can’t think of 2 people better suited for each other than this pair.

To Thohira and Muhammad: May your Life be Great.

Dare me.

We should go for coffee

if you ever blamed irrational behaviour on hormones
if you ever freaked out at the idea of losing your sense of home
if you can't accept the past as being in the past
if you're a jealous possessive bitch
if you'd rather choke and die on your own puke than be someone you're not with the intention of attracting people to you
if you have a big girl crush on Daryl Hannah
if you visibly wince at men who don't have facial hair
if you lose concentration during business meetings and imagine what would actually happen if you burst into song
if you like it dark, bitter and rich but not too hot
if you're not sure whether you're wise in knowing that there's always more to know or you really know nothing



We should go for coffee if you like coffee, know nothing about coffee, but tweet about it.

Paradox

It was Thohira's birthday yesterday. That got me thinking.

I miss studying logic. We did a semester course in our first and second year called Discrete Structures. It was considered one of the lighter courses and consisted of, to my dismay, no more than 2 1 hour lectures a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) and a 2 hour practical roughly every second Friday. It wasn't significant to many students, but I think I speak for more than one cartoon hero when I say it was by far the most enjoyable course we did.

Lecturers. Mmm.
We spent a considerable amount of time guessing what our lecturer's first name was. His accent was muddled, his approach to teaching was fresh and he started every single lecture by greeting us with a goofy half smile and a, "Morning, guys." All that we were provided with was a "JV van Zyl" which led to us strictly referring to him as "JV". I don't know if it was JV or the content, or the harmonious relationship between the two, but there was something about this course that made computer science feel like something more than just code and assembly. Like there was a philosophy behind all the strict rules, or a logic that, even though its made up of hard and fast rules, it feels less robotic.

Of all the mind numbing oil and canvas (don't tell Zaheera) that we saw in Europe on our tour in June 2010, there was one that's always stuck with me. In the palace of Versailles, in a room called the Grand Cabinet, there was a painting on the ceiling of Mercury scattering the influence of the sciences on the arts (represented by pretty ladies sitting around apparently doing nothing, but probably thinking about life). I like this idea of a healthy balance of left and right brained -ness.

I'd like to think of the coming together of these different schools of thought as poetic. I'd like to use phrases like "you are the yin to my yang" and "I am the Mercury to your Venus or someone" but I won't, simply because it would sound pretentious and I truly believe that the real key to being successful in this life is to know just how much sense of humour to have about every aspect of it. Including love and relationships and all that.

My favourite cartoon hero is the Zen embodiment of the concept I'm trying to illustrate. Thohira is complicated as well as simple. Sensible, but also impulsively crazy. Precise but so random. I have a vivid memory of JV emphasising how, in mathematics but simply means and. This Modus Tollens goes out to you, stups.


Happy birthday, Thohira.