Thursday, August 27, 2009

Kareema's guide to Twitter and Rule Engines

Rules.
Constraints.

These are the things that make Twitter mainly attractive to the more intelligent portion of the human race. Unfortunately, we're not the only ones attracted to it. There will always be those who are in it for the sake of Gareth and Ashton. Filter these idiots out and Twitter would be close to a haven for people who love social networking within the borders of the kind of rules and constraints which make things work... a harmonious and fully searchable collection of information about what people are doing, whom it concerns complete with key words in no more than 140 characters. Fuss-free. Bliss.

I've come to realise that such rules are exactly what I need in a job. At the moment, I come to work everyday and develop software in a way that I choose. There are no rules constraining me. No one questions my methods because no one else knows any methods to begin with. Everything is relaxed and awesome. Except that my so-called methods suck and I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still a noob in the guild of software development and in this particular guild hall I'm not getting any more experience points. I really need to level-up...

That's why I'll be back with whom I consider the real Guild Masters next week Thursday. Cyest. Hello again to early nights and early mornings.
Cyest's Luke the Skywalker once told me that the way I understand things is like that of a rule engine. I was slightly insulted by this at the time, because all I heard was that I think in an uninnovative robotic way, but it seems to happen more often than not that the wisdom of the more experienced only hits your head at a later level.

Speaking of how rules are awesome if you treat them in the right way, and how it seems to be my turn in the circle to blog about how fasting rocks, Ramadaan Kareem to everyone. Fasting and trying to abstain from all things otherwise enjoyable has offered me the opportunity to... well, in all honesty code better. :(
If you want to get the best coding experience, what never fails to work is all drink (because for some reason, needing to urinate increases typing speed) and no food (because that's makes you warm and fuzzy and you need to be cold and edgy to come up with solutions).

To summarise how Twitter should be treated, this happened a few days ago and it should be said here and now that no matter how much of a moron he is, I still love him.

Warren: hey
on twitter
can i ryt on your "wall"
Kareema: no
you tweet.
you send out messages
some of them have hash tags
so people looking for certain topics will find them
example
#weather its hot today.
-hash tag
some of them are directed at people
or multiple people
example
@taineechan dont you think @warrenblake is a moron

The CorpseKicker on Twitter

Monday, May 25, 2009

Gym ennet

I have a lot of theories about my new gym but I'll just share one. Yes, I've joined a gym. So what?
The reason that I feel obliged to defend my decision to join a Virgin Active is because I feel like such a... consumer. You know, with all the "Tell yourself that you've still got it!" posters.

My sister thinks they put steroids in the water to make people want to gym more, but this doesn't seem likely. They've already got you paying out your ass for a whole year at minimum so whether you like gymming or not isn't relevant to them. (If you disbelieve the posters of course.)

Here's how my theory was formed. This morning I walked in and the nice lady at the reception desk says to me, "There's no hot water, ne?". Some people never know quite how to answer this because it sounds like a question but doesn't expect an answer and usually the content is unanswerable because it's actually providing the listener with extra information and not asking anything at all. Anyway I can show you how to answer it so you know how to in future: "Oh." After musing a bit about the tone of nice lady's voice I realised what she had just said. And then I thought I might add something else to my "Oh": "But it's so cold :(" I didn't get another response.

Getting back to my theory now. This wasn't the first issue I've encountered about the water. Everyone drinks water while, before and after they work out. Everyone needs it. That's why all Virgin Active clubs have these fancy drinking fountains at strategic locations around the gym. Nobody uses them at my club though. And that's because it tastes like crap. I have a shower and I feel like I need to take another one because by hands and neck smell like chlorine.
This makes me not want to shower. I only do because I'd rather die than go to work covered in sweat. I'm a hobo but at least I'm conscious of BO. Apparently there are a lot of other ladies who don't have the same concerns that I do.

Now what do I make of this? Well, clearly, water is an expensive commodity. Too expensive to allow club members to drink and clean with. Making it taste and smell like chloroform wasn't effective enough to repel people from it, so they made it cold and it looks like that did the trick!

In other news,
  • June is going to be a great month:

    • 1st - Quraysh's non-birthday

    • 2nd - My Quarterly Performance Review; The Sims 3 gets released

    • 16th - National Youth day

  • Twitter is awesome: http://twitter.com/corpsekicker