Friday, March 05, 2010

Concerning Spontaneity

I've never enjoyed anyone's writing like I enjoy my sister's. She has the ability to write down feelings so that when you read it 10 years later, you're time travelling. Her writing has such an effect on me that the words hang around in my brain long afterward. Today the foremost words are, "We were brought up to understand that little girls should be at home at the time of Maghrib." Today while Maghrib adhaan was called back home, I was driving at 130km/h on a road that Daddy told me not to take.

Growing up is hard. Change has never been easy for me. Throw me into the deep end and I'll just get out of the pool. Given, enough time though, I even suprise myself. I know they say that people are intrepid and have an inexplicable ability to carry on, that norms are relative and all that, but in my case, if it's gradual enough, I could get comfortable with anything. To name a few such horrible things: friendships that are selfish, romances that make you feel inadequate, php, etc.
It's for this reason that I don't trust my own judgement. It could very easily be the case that the only reason I think something is a good idea is because I was given enough time to get used to the idea.

The point I'm trying to get to is that there has been exactly 1 big plunge I've taken in my life where I didn't get "cold feet" and jump out of the pool. It must be said that the person who pushed me was my father, who I've come to learn, knows what's best for me. If I hadn't started working at that exact time, I would've studied more. And who knows when that would've ended?

Today, I love my job and I think of it as the best decision I've made yet.

The thing about taking a plunge is that you'll know immediately whether it's good or bad. It's like nikkah. Someone recently said to me that the more you drag it out, the less blessing it has. And it's true. Because in my case, I would just be getting used to something that could be ok or really crap.

Take the plunge, people. Life is great.


M Junaid said...

sometimes we are afraid of taking a leap. Afraid of falling. Afraid of getting hurt.

I'm afraid of praying mantises, chipping a tooth and coke shortages. But im not afraid of falling <3

neverBlink said...

I don't even want to think about playing devil's advocate this time..

I agree with u 107 percent kreem-pie:)

just do it!

Waseem said...

PHP is not that hard, unless you mean php in some different way. .net seems tougher because Microsoft always come with these hard-ass rules you have to follow or get an error message.

I don't know about best writer ever (re: formspring answer) but your sister has an elegance to her writing that wraps you in her words.

I'm with you on the change thing, and I always been afraid to fall, cos it always seems to be me alone at the bottom of the pool and me having to swim back up to the top again and I can't swim (literally or figuratively).

CorpseKicker said...

@MJ: I'm not afraid either.

@neverBlink: You not wanting to represent the opposing argument really says something!

@Waseem: I didn't say php was hard. I just said it was horrible. I used it for a month and hated it. I'm partial to .Net - their syntax reads like English.
And if you can't swim, then I don't think you should've been pushed in the first place, but I'm sure there are some pools that are nice and cool for you.

Anonymous said...

It's maybe one of life's hardest lessons. I certainly haven't learned it yet. Fear is a terrible thing.

Libra said...

This post means a lot to me. While we were growing up, I wrote about our experiences in novel form to preserve the substance of the quality of my memories. But when you guys tell me the books have come to mean something to you too, I feel like I've become a writer.

@Waseem: Thanks.